My goal is to keep managers and small business owners out of court and build their conflict resolution skills. That’s not always easy these days, as you can probably imagine.
I want to talk about what everybody’s talking about now. This doesn’t mean that managers and small business owners stormed the capital. But I think it’s on everybody’s mind, and my theme for 2021 is courage. So we’re going to go there today.
In particular, I’m bringing it up because, as you can probably tell by the color of my skin, I have some white family members. We’re having some difficulty, seeing that so many of the people that stormed the capital were white men.
We have this kind of conflict, right? And I’m a conflict resolution person. So, I feel compelled to address this.
We have a conflict where people are kind of collapsing that, if you’re a white male, that you must side with Trump, you must support the movement on the capital and the seizure that took place, and all of the criminal activity.
I’m not here to judge that. I’m a mediator. I’m a coach, and I am not here to be the judge and jury.
But one of the things that’s occurred (in some very heated arguments with some of my loved ones) is that I’m starting to understand a little bit more of what’s going on inside of these individuals now.
I didn’t know anybody that was there last week on the capital, but I do know people that have had strong reactions to it—people who are white and male.
I want to give you some of the takeaways from my conversations with them, reminding you that you can understand behavior without condoning it.
You can still hold people accountable for their behavior.
Here’s what I learned:
- Some men, white men in particular, do feel threatened by the change in the administration and so many other changes. After the #MeToo movement and the Black Lives Matter movement, they’re feeling threatened, and they’re acting out again. We don’t have to condone the behavior that comes from that, but when we start listening to what it is that they fear, we can get into some of the solutions.
- Also, some white men feel entitled to white privilege and white supremacy. We definitely saw that on Wednesday. I don’t know yet how to deal with that. I’ve been working at that for most of my career, but I’m continuing to open conversations in hopes of moving toward a solution, and that’s what I’m inviting you to do. You don’t have to do it today. You’re welcome to take a break and process what’s going on. I’m still highly emotional about it, too, and that’s fine.
Wherever you are is fine.
- Third, some white men do feel the attack on the Capitol was justified, because of hatred toward them that they’re feeling.
Something else we want to be careful about is to not turn the tables. This constant turning the tables…You can look over the history of the world. All it does is leads to more fighting.
If you’re struggling with this on your in your own life, with family members, people at work, etc., I’m still doing free 30-minute breakthrough calls and invite you to schedule yours.
In the meantime, keep listening with your third year for those hearts you can heal.
Nance L. Schick, Esq., is a workplace attorney, ethno-religious mediator, and conflict resolution coach based in New York City. Her goal is to keep managers and small business owners out of court and build their conflict resolution skills so everyone has a better work experience. She is creator of the Third Ear Conflict Resolution process, author of DIY Conflict Resolution, and an award-winning entrepreneur acknowledged by Super Lawyers (ADR, 2018, 2019 & 2020), the New York Economic Development Corporation/B-Labs (Finalist, Best for NYC 2015 & 2016), U.S. Chamber of Commerce (2015 Blue Ribbon Small Business), Enterprising Women Magazine (Honorable Mention, 2014 Woman of the Year awards).