I recently had the privilege of being interviewed by Getrude Matshe for the Her Story Circle podcast. This platform aims to inspire, enlighten, and connect women globally through uplifting stories of triumph. It’s always humbling to be in the presence of someone like Getrude. She’s a force of nature who came from humble beginnings in Zimbabwe and continues to exceed all expectations. Her dedication to giving back is truly inspiring; she’s the founder and CEO of the Africa Alive Education Foundation, supporting HIV orphans and hundreds of children in her husband’s home village with education, food, medication, and clothes. I encourage you to learn more about her and subscribe to the Her Story Circle TV channel on YouTube.
Many of you know I grew up poor in Kentucky, and like Getrude, I’ve had my share of struggles. I’ve also had to overcome polyvictimization, meaning I’ve faced multiple forms of victimization, including abuse and assault. These aren’t just parts of my past. My lived experiences profoundly inform how I engage with conflict, whether I’m resolving it for myself, my loved ones, or my clients.
Why My Experience Matters in Conflict Resolution
My encounters with trauma have given me a unique lens through which to view and navigate conflict. It’s not about dwelling on the past, but rather using those lived experiences to foster a more compassionate, individually-tailored, and effective path forward. Here’s how my background as a survivor enriches our work at Third Ear Conflict Resolution:
Empathy and Understanding
Having walked through difficult lived experiences myself, I can connect with others on a deeper level. This empathy helps me create a safe and supportive environment where all voices are heard and respected.
Trauma-Informed Approach
I incorporate trauma-informed practices into all our conflict resolution methods. It’s second nature for me because I’m acutely aware of how past trauma can influence individuals’ behavior and responses, especially in conflict situations.
Focus on Healing and Forgiveness
I truly believe that unresolved trauma can significantly impact professional relationships and workplace dynamics. My work emphasizes the importance of complete apologies in the healing process, and forgiveness, when and where appropriate. This isn’t just about resolving a dispute; it’s about fostering an environment where individuals can genuinely move forward toward the lives they want.
Empowerment Through DIY Tools
I trust you to know what you need better than anyone, and my approach is rooted in empowering you to take control of your own conflict resolution processes. That’s why I wrote my first book, DIY Conflict Resolution: Seven Choices and Five Actions of a Master. In it, I share a step-by-step guide to approaching conflict with compassion, humility, and introspection. My goal is to equip you with practical tools and techniques you can use independently, building confidence and resilience in the face of challenges. Of course, when you get stuck, I’m still here for direct services.
Holistic Solutions for Lasting Peace
Having experienced how complex conflict can be, I’ve learned the importance of addressing all its facets—legal, emotional, and practical—to achieve sustainable solutions. Whether I’m speaking to victimology students about restorative justice or advising organizations on diversity, equity, and inclusion, I strive to help people find ways over, under, around, and through whatever stands between them and their successes, always ethically and without harm to others. As I often say, “When the third eye is blind, it hinders wisdom. When the third ear is deaf, it hinders connection and resolution.”