Frequent change is an inevitable part of life, but recently, it feels more frequent and unpredictable than ever. As professionals striving to excel—whether we’re licensed professionals, managers, executives, or small business owners—how we handle this constant turbulence defines our personal and professional success. It’s perfectly natural to feel overwhelmed, confused, or even paralyzed by the constant shifts we face. You are absolutely not alone, and there are ways to navigate through them with resilience.
I’ve seen the acute challenges that constant shifts in law, leadership, and procedure bring to our workplaces and personal lives. This is what drove me to write my first book, DIY Conflict Resolution: Seven Choices and Five Actions of the Masters, and it’s what’s driving my deeper dive in the book I’m working on, Unsustainable: Why Our Workplaces Aren’t Working and What to Do About It. The research process, especially in the current climate, has me constantly relying on the DIY Conflict Resolution process—and it might be helpful for you, too.
Addressing Internal Conflicts
I developed the core of DIY Conflict Resolution while in a period of frequent change: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Recovering from physical and psychological injuries caused by a violent assault in 2014, I struggled to keep my law firm delivering exceptional services while wrestling with my conflicting thoughts about the young man who assaulted me. I had to resist the same feelings of overwhelm, uncertainty, and resignation that many are experiencing today. I, too, sought more control over the outside world–like we think we once had.
The truth is, we’ve never had that control. Accepting this is the first, most constructive step toward meaningful action.
DIY Conflict Resolution helps you better understand your responses, free the emotions they trigger, and take deliberate steps towards what you value most—your business, career, or personal relationships. While my focus is the employment sphere, the strategies are universal.
As I frequently say, “Everyone has a job, has had a job, or knows someone with a job. Work gives us a universal language.” In this case, it gives us a way to discuss frequent change and relate to one another.
Embrace Progress, Not Paralysis
At work and in life, humans have an ineffective habit of overthinking, especially about issues we have little power over. The more time we spend trapped in our minds—which often play tricks on us—the less likely we are to make a real impact on anything.
Instead of endlessly dissecting a news article or social media post, our energy is best redirected to action in the real world, where we can take action. Let go of the illusion of control and embrace progress over perfection.
The Seven Choices of conflict resolution masters can help you shift your perspective:
- Forgive yourself for feeling conflicted about frequent change.
- Acknowledge yourself whenever you take action toward a solution.
- Forgive the world for having conflicts and changing frequently, as well as not enough.
- Free the emotions–without causing new conflicts.
- Clear your mind of distracting and disempowering thoughts.
- Assume you know nothing about anything; be open to new solutions.
- Listen with your third ear (your heart, or compassion) for the hurts in what others say.
The Power of Your Third Ear
I close my weekly three-minute video lessons with, “Keep listening with your third ear for the hurts you can heal.”
In this symbolic sense, the Third Ear is compassion—your ability to understand the underlying hurts and conflicts that cause human strife and impede our progress. These unaddressed issues, like fear of failure or anxiety over past experiences, act as a hidden resistance to change. Frequent change can be especially triggering, but it is also workable.
By proactively addressing these emotional and psychological barriers, change becomes less intimidating and more of a genuine opportunity for growth. This deeper understanding is key to resolving resistance, and it’s a core topic in my upcoming book. In Unsustainable: Why Our Workplaces Aren’t Working and What to Do About It, I will explore new ways of working and doing business, including how our brains keep us trapped in ineffective “doom loops.”
Move From Paralysis to Progress
Change doesn’t have to derail your career; it can transform it into a journey of unprecedented growth and success. The Five Actions from the DIY Conflict Resolution book guide readers through the practical process:
- Define the conflict (and necessary parties) succinctly. What do you disagree with? Who has taken that position or action, and who has the power to change it?
- Identify the personal interests driving the conflict. While business goals are the backdrop, the conflict is often driven by things like fear of job loss, frustration with unmet expectations, and the need to remedy harm.
- Play with the possibilities for resolution. Do a creative “brain dump.” Our brains default to past experiences, but new results require new ideas. Review the feasibility of possibilities, and choose one or more to try.
- Create the future with a specific, measurable plan. Make sure everyone involved knows who will do what, by when, how, and why, and set a time to reconnect and check the results.
- Stay on PARR: Plan, act, revise, and repeat. Complex conflicts might require several attempts or methods. Don’t quit before the breakthrough.
Get Help Determining Your Next Step
You might notice that this process is nearly impossible to apply for some of the conflicts that are overwhelming you. That is likely because those conflicts are not yours to resolve.
If you are still struggling with them, I offer a complimentary 15-minute assessment. While this is not a session for legal advice, it is an opportunity to explore how you can overcome the specific internal and external conflicts that are keeping you stuck.
I encourage you to schedule this assessment through the link provided below. Remember, whether you choose to take this opportunity or not, your ability to thrive amidst change hinges on your willingness to act and to listen deeply—both outwardly and inwardly—with your third ear.