My goal is to keep you out of court and build your conflict resolution skills, in part because court is a miserable place. Highly-educated, competitive people will often make your case about themselves playing a zealous game of procedure that, unlike basketball, is not fun to watch. You’ll often sit on the bench, confused by the selected plays and wondering how you got there. Didn’t you hire a lawyer to help you resolve your issue, not make it more complicated?
I’ve Been In Your Shoes
Although I had a compassionate and skilled attorney in David Deaconson, and I won a default judgment against my former employer, those four years were among the most stressful of my life. I lost my job–and my closest friend in the small town where I moved, because he became part of the evidence and the strategy of both legal teams.
I learned Civil Procedure (which is not very civil) in the courtroom and classroom my first year of law school, while also working three jobs to support myself. Life didn’t pause for my lawsuit, and it won’t for yours, either. Loved ones will still get sick. You might, too. (In a course I taught for ProLawCLE, I discuss your 80% chance of getting sick during litigation, due to your stress score.)
Sometimes They Remain Empty
At the end of it all, you might be awarded a judgment that you can never collect. That’s what happened to me, when the owners of my former employer fled the country. The business closed, and the community lost what could have been a great partner. My colleagues lost their jobs, too. But these were not the results I wanted. If my former employer had appeared for the mediation (a service I now provide), the owners might have learned this. But that is a discussion for another post.
Prevention Is the Key
My focus now is on preventing you from being on either side of the courtroom, because they are both awful places. You can (usually) avoid finding yourself there by:
- Being a good manager of people and conflict. There will always be conflict; it’s a natural part of living. Instead of trying to fool yourself into believing you can avoid all conflict, learn to resolve it skillfully.
- Accepting your needs and asking for help. No one has all of the answers to everything. We will all have jobs that require more or different knowledge and skill than we have. Laws and circumstances will change. Take the shortcut and call someone who knows more about an issue. (You’ll still know plenty about other topics, and you’ll learn about another.)
- Taking responsibility early. You are going to make mistakes, and they will often take more than apology to fix. Own what happened, repair what you can (even if you have to pay in some way), and create an action plan to minimize the likelihood of repeat error.
Most people are forgiving when they can see your humanity and a genuine commitment to being and doing better. We know no one is perfect, and we are relieved when we don’t have to pretend to be. We expect to be acknowledged as equal–at the very least–on a human scale. When that doesn’t occur, we will fight for the acknowledgment in court.