Not everyone understands or appreciates mutuality in relationships. The experiences of some people have caused them to believe they have to take from you before you take from them. Others are trying to prove their worth by dominating others financially, emotionally, or otherwise. Few of them realize this is what they are doing, which is why perfectly nice people can stifle the potential of a partnership.
I have seen this repeatedly in my business. Each time, I turn to DIY Conflict Resolution: Seven Choices and Five Actions of a Master. I didn’t just author the book; I use the process. Here’s an example of one conflict resolved using it.
Action One: Define the Conflict
My VA service and I disagreed about what constitutes great service and whether they were keeping their agreements.
Action Two: Identify the Interests
I thought expensive services that promised to reduce the demands on me would be proactive in doing so. I wanted complete work with a human touch, not something I could program a computer to do. I liked my team, and I wanted us all to win, but I was just another dollar to the VA service. I expected more, and that was too much.
Action Three: Play with the Possibilities
If I could have had that conflict resolved in any way possible, the VA service would have been excited about my business and what we could have created in the world together. My team members would have been more thorough in learning about Third Ear Conflict Resolution, reviewing the many documents I was required to provide, and incorporating them into the work they did for me.
Action Four: Create the Future
I looked for where I had been task-oriented when I needed to be results-focused. I also explored where I had been avoiding the talks necessary to resolve conflicts beyond those with my VA service.
- I initiated a conflict resolution talk with my VA team the following Tuesday.
- I started preparing three talking points before I met with anyone, so I didn’t waste their time or mine.
- I asked Peter to help more with household chores and the mental “heavy lifting” in our partnership.
Stay on PARR
I ended the relationship with the VA service because it wasn’t a mutually beneficial partnership. But my partnership with Peter is stronger, and I continue to expand my capacity for effective partnering in a variety of areas. I continue to Plan, Act, Revise, and Repeat, until I get the results I want. I’ve stopped stopping when it matters. My life and my business are better for it.
Need more practice?
https://thirdearcr.com/creating-the-relationship-you-want-with-anyone-in-your-life-video/