It took me nearly a year to get through Howard Zinn’s book, A People’s History of the United States. I bought it at a small bookstore in Summerville, South Carolina while visiting Peter’s brother. It’s not lost on me that the decision to buy a $19.99 book would be a major one for some people in this country. Around the world, others lack clean water and sufficient food while I have the resources to fly to a couple of hours to visit family and kayak for fun.
My awareness of the inequity and injustice in the world makes it difficult to read more stories of how my beloved homeland caused or contributed to them. Zinn’s book is full of these stories, yet he wrote with the intent to call us into action. That is my intent here, too.
A Personal Conflict
For years, if not decades, I have been conflicted about the celebration of some of our national holidays. In my youth, Memorial Day was when:
- Public swimming pools opened.
- Big sales were held.
- We gathered for potluck BBQs.
Even with numerous military veterans in my family and neighborhood, I don’t remember ever discussing the reason this became a national holiday. When I decided to learn and think more about Memorial Day, my internal conflicts around it grew. Perhaps that’s why many of us focus on the food, clothes, and fun instead of those who died often while fighting to protect the privileges and interests of the world’s elites.
Using the Seven Choices
This year, as wars continue to rage in Ukraine and Gaza, and with a nasty Presidential election under way, my inner conflicts about Memorial Day are again bubbling to the surface. A friend had to remind me that I have tools to work through them–in my own book! That happens to all of us when we are tired and trying to ignore how we feel. We forget we can choose different thoughts and change our experiences:
- I forgive myself for having this conflict and any contribution I have made to it.
- Acknowledging myself for past efforts to foster peace, I also recognize the need to continue.
- Forgiving the world for its imperfections and injustices, I agree to work with what is while trying to create something better for our future.
- I allow myself to free the emotions that arise from confronting these issues, yet I ensure I do it in ways that do not harm others.
- Clearing my mind of what I think I know, I am willing to learn more about the complete history of the US.
- Assuming nothing about others’ intentions or perspectives, I remember that we don’t have to agree with people to listen to them.
- Listening with my third ear, I accept that I cannot change the past, but I can sometimes hear a hurt I can heal.
Defining the Conflict Succinctly
After a Memorial Day trip to the Revolutionary War sites at Yorktown, Virginia, I was sadly reminded:
- Most wars break out over economic issues that are probably best understood by the country’s elites.
- The less privileged are the ones who fight the battles, contributing their labor, creativity, health, and lives.
- Often the elite people in positions of authority, like 1st Marquess Charles Cornwallis, walk away from wars with their bodies, reputations, and privileges relatively unscathed.
I disagree with those who think our military is protecting the freedom of the average American, and I hate that this.
Identifying My Interests in this Issue
Educated in the public schools, I thought America was the greatest country in the world. I believe we are all created equal, even if we are each very unique in characteristics and environment. Learning how grossly our founding fathers and their successors have failed to deliver on the most basic of premises has challenged everything I have held true since I was a child. Yet it seems kind and right to honor the people who died while serving in our military. They made sacrifices I’m not sure I would.
I imagine the discussions leading up to the declaration of Memorial Day as a national holiday. Some of those proposing it may have felt guilt for their privileges in light of the losses of life. Others might have been more focused on how well their support for the holiday would garner them support in an upcoming election. Regardless, this small gesture is probably better than none.
Playing with the Possibilities
Conflict is unfortunately a natural part of living that facilitates growth. However, we can choose the growth we want. According to Isaac Newton’s Third Law of Motion, every action is paired with an equal and opposite reaction:
- What peaceful actions can we take to avoid adding names to the list of Memorial Day honorees?
- Can racism and sexism be corrected with racism and sexism directed at different groups?
- Can love really drive out hate, as Martin Luther King Jr. said in Strength to Love?
We have the day off to reflect on the country and world we want to create. Perhaps this is the best way to honor those lost in violent conflict.
Creating a New Future
I have to participate to create the country I want to see. That part, our founding fathers and the revolutionaries got right, even if I wouldn’t have had a vote back then.
Regardless of my professional title or economic position, I have that vote now and was given an education, although it was imperfect. I need not reject all things American because of these imperfections.
Staying on PARR
Our predecessors gave us flexible plans. Where they still make sense in our world as it is today, we can take the actions directed, or we can revise them to meet our current needs. We can honor those lost in violent conflict while working toward a more peaceful future. It is up to each of us, which is why this is a national holiday. Please reflect and honor it accordingly. Tomorrow, we get back to work.