DISCLAIMER: This post provides general information about how to use the Five Actions from the DIY Conflict Resolution process when you are the target of sexual harassment. It is not legal advice, nor is it a substitute for psychotherapy. If you want to discuss your legal rights, responsibilities, or options, please contact my trusted colleague, Alison Greenberg. For counseling, see this list of resources.
Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) is especially important to me because I have observed the complexities of sexual harassment from many angles:
- Attorney
- Mediator
- Title IX Investigator
- Trainer
- Human Resources Supervisor
- Employee Relations Representative
- Target
- Plaintiff
In my previous post, I described how the Seven Choices can empower you during a sexual harassment investigation. Now, let’s delve into the Five Actions you can take to resolve the conflicts.
Action One: Define the conflict.
Understanding the root cause of any conflict is crucial for taking effective action. Start by clearly defining the conflict using a structured format like “_______ and I disagree about _________.” This exercise helps pinpoint the specific issue, such as appropriate workplace conduct. Remember, if communication isn’t work-related, it’s likely inappropriate. If there is unwanted touching involved, it could be criminal.
Action Two: Identify the interests.
Consider the interests and perspectives of all parties involved. Your beliefs about right and wrong may stem from mandatory sexual harassment training, while the harasser might dismiss key policies in favor of a personal motivation to control you. Understanding these interests does not excuse the behavior, but it does inform potential corrective actions and safeguards against future incidents.
Action Three: Play with the possibilities.
More than likely, if you could have this conflict resolve in any way possible, you would simply be able to go to work, do a good job, collect your paycheck, and go home to a peaceful or happy life. Advocate for assurances from your employer that you will return to a safe and productive work environment, regardless of what disciplinary action might be taken against the harasser.
Action Four: Create the future.
If you haven’t already, report the harassment to a designated authority promptly. Schedule this action as a priority, seeking support from experienced individuals or counselors who understand the reporting, investigation, and disciplinary process. Prepare for emotional challenges, and allow both professional resources and loved ones to help you navigate the aftermath effectively.
Action Five: Stay on PARR.
Recovery from harassment takes time and ongoing effort. Embrace the PARR framework—Plan, Act, Revise, Repeat—to navigate the journey. Continuously revisit the Seven Choices, adapting them to your evolving needs and circumstances.
By following these Five Actions, you empower yourself to address sexual harassment in the workplace with clarity, confidence, and resilience. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and seeking support is a sign of strength.
Want more practice brainstorming effective actions?
Seven Choices to Make When You’re the Target of Sexual Harassment