Years ago, a loved one asked me how to deal with someone who believes a liar. Based on the timing of the inquiry, I think I know who the liar at issue was. That was not as relevant as what concerned her and what she wanted from her relationship with the person who believed him. I went deeper with her and created a three-part video series to help her (and you) through conflicts like this.
In it, we address:
- The Seven Choices that help you reconnect with your more powerful self
- The Five Actions that help you reconnect with your loved one, your common interests, and the bond you want to feel
- Why your thoughts about a third person don’t have much impact on the relationship with your loved one–unless you let them
Don’t Panic
It can be challenging and frustrating when someone you love or respect believes a liar, but this doesn’t have to end the relationship.
This conflict can be resolved, and your relationship with this person can be transformed, with a little:
- Self-analysis
- Willingness to listen
- Focus on what matters most to you in the relationship
Make the Seven Choices
- Forgive yourself for not being able to shake this conflict
- Acknowledge yourself for reaching out for help
- Forgive the world for having and creating liars
- Free the emotions triggered by the lying, the liar, and your fears of losing your loved one
- Clear your mind of all unloving thoughts
- Assume you know nothing about your loved one and get reaquainted
- Listen with your third ear (your heart)
Take the Five Actions
- Define the conflict succinctly
- Identify the interests of all affected parties in the conflict
- Play with the possibilities for resolution
- Create the future with a specific, measurable action plan
- Stay on PARR: plan, act, revise, and repeat until you get the result you want–or something better!
Work Through the Five Actions Again
Consider the conflict between you and the person you think is a liar. These kinds of conflict might be more about how we think the world should work than whether the third person is a liar. More importantly, this attachment probably isn’t going to help us have the relationships we want with the people we love. Focus your energy where it matters most.