As a survivor of sexual assault and polyvictimization, or repeat victimization, I often find myself speaking to podcast hosts and students in college Victimology courses during Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) and year-round. My personal and professional experiences have given me a unique perspective that allows me to connect with individuals who may feel alone after similar trauma.
I share my story openly because I understand the feelings of isolation and self-blame that often hinder our healing. Without the appropriate resources and support, we can become the hurt people who hurt people.
My Journey to Healing
Despite the support of loved ones, I’ve encountered moments of frustration when their efforts fell short or even added to my distress. I’ve learned to manage my emotions and navigate the challenges of healing, but I know firsthand the importance of professional guidance in this journey.
While friends and family offer invaluable support, they may lack the training and experience needed to facilitate true healing. It took a suicide attempt for me to recognize the necessity of seeking professional help. Therapy became my roadmap to recovery, guiding me through the aftermath of multiple assaults and providing me with the tools to reclaim my power.
When faced with the harsh reality of seeking justice through the legal system, I realized that true healing for me could not be found in courtrooms. However, I refused to let that deter me from my path to healing. Therapy became a consistent companion, a vital component of my ongoing journey towards peace and empowerment.
I understand the hesitation and even the sense of defeat that can accompany seeking help more than once. However, I now view counseling as a necessary step towards healing, akin to taking an antibiotic for an infection. Why delay healing when the resources are available?
You Don’t Have to Heal on Your Own
For those seeking support to heal from sexual assault in New York, there are numerous resources available:
- New York City (NYC) Anti-Violence Project (AVP) – Free and confidential assistance to LGBTQ and HIV-affected people
- Crime Victims Treatment Center (CVTC) – Free trauma-focused therapy for individuals and groups, as well as legal advocacy
- Landmark Worldwide – Personal development courses that are especially helpful in putting your past in the past and leaving it there
- Sexual Assault Victims Intervention (SAVI) – Free services that address the needs of survivors with limited resources or limited access to them
- NYC Crime Victims’ Hotline – Free referrals to agencies that provide individual counseling and supportive therapy
- NYC Family Justice Centers – Free counseling to victims of domestic violence, elder abuse, and sex trafficking
- Safe Horizon Counseling Center – Counseling services to victims of crime with Medicaid, Child Health Plus, and most private insurances
- NYS Unified Court System – Information on crime victims’ rights throughout a criminal case, including the right to submit a Victim’s Impact Statement
It’s Okay If You’re Still Confused
If you’re unsure whether a crime has been committed or if consent was given, these definitions of sexual violence and consent can offer clarity and guidance.
Was It a Crime?
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention defines sexual violence as any sexual act committed against someone without that person’s freely given consent. If you didn’t give affirmative consent to a sexual act, or if you were unable to give it because you were intoxicated or under the age of 18, you might have been a crime victim. The CVTC or SAVI can help you determine the next actions for you to take.
Was It Consensual?
New York State requires affirmative consent from all participants in sexual activity to be:
- Knowing
- Voluntary
- Mutual
Consent can be given by words or actions, as long as clear permission is given. Silence or lack of resistance might be insufficient to demonstrate consent.
Reclaim Your Power
Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a courageous step towards healing and reclaiming your power. Support is available to help you navigate this journey. It was not easy, but I have healed. You can, too.