When I left my prior law firm, I didn’t have much of a plan. There had been hints of the firm’s instability for months, but I was loyal and committed to turning things around. I liked the work, and I had grown into an effective trial lawyer. Then, my aunt died. She was my mother’s oldest sister and like the grandmother I never knew. Her death made my mom the sole survivor of nine children. I flew to Indianapolis for the funeral and cried my way through the eulogy I wrote for her.
Surrounded by loved ones, I was reminded that I was more than the litigation machine I had become in New York City. My family could see the impact of that life on me and encouraged me to make a change, but I intended to return and have a straight talk with my boss about how to get the firm back on track. Instead, he found me as soon as I got into work and announced he had landed us a new client–the client who I had been courting for months and that called for me on the one day I was out for the funeral.
It was the last straw. My boss left for the day, while the rest of us worked well past closing time. Seemingly, his commitments were not to the firm or any of us who had helped him keep it going. I had a Jerry Maguire moment the following Friday. After setting all my cases up for continued success, I called my boss (who still hadn’t returned to the office) and packed up my desk. Several staff members helped me and walked me home before joining me for drinks.
On the following Monday morning, a client called my cell phone and asked me to continue defending a case. The rest is history.
History Isn’t Made Without Help
There are some valuable tips I picked up along the way. I’d like to share them with you. In honor of Third Ear Conflict Resolution’s 20th Anniversary, there are 20.
- Just start. Don’t wait for the perfect moment or the perfect plan. Talk to potential clients about your business and see where it takes you. Their questions will help you see where you need to improve your messaging, and their feedback will help you offer products and services they want. There is no perfect moment or plan. You’ll be tweaking your business processes for as long as you are in it.
- Plan to do more than survive. Have at least a rough idea of your short and long term goals and your timeline for meeting them. Be prepared to adapt as you go. Entrepreneurship is sometimes described as building a plane while flying it. You’ll keep figuring out how to take the next action when you know where you want to land.
- Use the “free” resources for small businesses. There are a number of government and non-profit organizations that offer free or low-cost resources to small businesses. These resources can help you with everything from writing a business plan to marketing your products or services. Some of the most helpful resources for New Yorkers include the Small Business Administration, SCORE, and the City’s Small Business Services offices.
- Ask for specific help. We have a deep network and extensive resource list for small business owners. When reaching out to them, be as specific as possible about what you need. For example, instead of saying “I need help with my business,” identify the specific areas of the plan that you are struggling with.
- Hire slowly and fire quickly. Most of us have heard this before, and it is often easier said than done at first. Forgive yourself (Choice One) and do better.
- Choose candidates based on job compatibility. Sympathy is not a good basis for hiring. No matter how much you like a candidate, if she does not have the skills and experience to succeed in the role, both of you will be unhappy.
- Recruit in underserved areas. Too often, I still hear employers complaining that they can’t find workers or justify their lack of diversity by claiming no one outside their race, gender, or ethnic groups apply for their open positions. That is often because they are recruiting in the same publications, at the same schools, and using the same ineffective hiring processes.
- Discover your core values. You might think that the primary reason you started your business was to survive financially, but it usually goes deeper than that. There was a problem you wanted to solve for your clients. It usually aligns with the world you want to live in or the life you want to have. Knowing these will help you guide your business and your employees. Often, it will also help you attract clients who share these values.
- Check yourself regularly. Make the Seven Choices as often as necessary to get through the rough days and ensure you’re still doing the things that are most important to you.
- Resolve conflicts as soon as possible. Conflict is inevitable in business, and small disputes can easily become bigger problems. Don’t let them fester. Move through them skillfully by taking the Five Actions.
- Plan for success. Set annual goals by considering what needs to happen by December 31st for you to feel the year was a success. Choose monthly goals that feed your annual goals. Schedule weekly appointments to take the actions that will help you achieve those goals. Each day, ensure your calendar is first filled with appointments to keep yourself physically and mentally healthy so you can take the appropriate actions toward your goals.
- Know your numbers. Revenue, cash flow, profit margins, expenses, and other key performance indicators tell you the score, so you know if you need to try a different play to win. You have to look, even when you don’t think you will like what you see.
- Don’t gossip. You have limited time and energy. Don’t waste it talking about other people in an attempt to make yourself look better. Focus your energy on being better.
- Don’t compete to destroy the competition. There’s enough business to go around, and sometimes your competitors will become great referral sources. Determine your unique value proposition and keep improving the client experience.
- Network like a boss. Go to industry conferences and places you expect to meet potential clients or referral services, but also participate in what interests you beyond work. Be a resource and a human, not just a sales person. Some of our best clients called after a casual conversation on the train or because we had helped them find someone to help with a service we don’t provide.
- Use the positive no. You can often say yes to relationships you want to nurture and still say no to activities you don’t want to do. Be honest and don’t overextend yourself. No is a complete answer, but sometimes you might be able to offer a referral or another resource to help your contact take the next step. This will also nurture the relationship and soften the no.
- Keep learning. Education doesn’t end when you graduate. There will always be something new to learn, if you want to stay in business.
- Keep tweaking. Apply the learning you continue to gather. Experiment with new strategies, especially when what used to work stops working as effectively. Allow yourself room to try and fail. You will from time to time.
- Ignore the chatter. From news and social media to workplace and family gossip, your days can be quickly filled with distractions. Choose what you allow between your ears as carefully as you select what goes in your body, home, or gas tank.
- Celebrate often. Entrepreneurship is a long game. If you don’t celebrate the small wins along the way, you can lose sight of why you started. You’ll wonder why you’ve sacrificed so much. Keep yourself motivated with some of the same gifts and acknowledgments you offer employees for this purpose. You’re a lot more alike than you remember.
Workplace conflict holding you back?
Ten Tips for Working Well with Third Ear Conflict Resolution