DISCLAIMER: This post is intended only as general information about micro-aggressions and workplace discrimination. It is not legal advice and does not establish an attorney-client relationship. If you need specific legal advice, please contact an attorney to discuss your unique circumstances.
It’s not uncommon for owners to foster close relationships with their employees and fail to listen for harmful micro-aggressions. Built over years of working together, these relationships can sometimes lead to a false sense of security. Owners may believe that their words and actions are always perceived as harmless, even when they’re not. That’s what happened to Fido.
Empowered by the #BlackLivesMatter and #MeToo movements, his long-term employee, FiFi, approached him about something he had said many times in staff meetings for at least a decade. He had never considered that it might be offensive, since he and co-workers frequently bonded over comments about attractive women they work with or how they felt protective of their young, female employees.
Horrified that he had been so oblivious, Fido called me for legal advice and conflict resolution counsel. As we discussed, recent social movements have empowered employees to confront micro-aggressions and other infractions that they might have previously ignored, and this shift is a positive one. It allows issues to be addressed internally before they escalate into legal claims. Fortunately, that’s all Fifi wanted, and she and Fido are working together better than ever.
The Silent Problem
Even successful, well-liked small business owners can unknowingly say things that are offensive. These micro-aggressions can persist for years without anyone speaking up. Employees, especially those who have been with the company for a long time, may feel uncomfortable addressing these issues directly with their boss.
The Role of Social Movements
The #BlackLivesMatter and #MeToo movements have played a significant role in changing this dynamic. They have given employees the courage to speak up about the micro-aggressions they experience in the workplace. This shift is not just about holding individuals accountable; it’s about creating a more inclusive and respectful work environment for everyone.
The Importance of Informal Resolution
When employees feel empowered to bring their concerns directly to their bosses, it provides an opportunity for growth and learning. It’s a chance for business owners to address and rectify their behavior before it escalates into a legal issue. If you are uncomfortable doing this alone, a neutral third-party can facilitate the discussions and keep them productive.
Tips for Business Owners
As a business owner, it’s crucial to approach these situations with an open mind and a willingness to learn. Here are some tips:
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Use your third ear to listen for what matters to the employee who complains. They complain because they care about what’s perceived as “right.” Often, they are shocked when you disappoint them because they hold you in such high esteem. That gives you a solid foundation on which to build a long-term employment partnership that benefits both of you for many years.
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Don’t get defensive; look for the lesson. It’s natural to feel defensive when confronted, but try to see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Again, when employees speak up, it’s typically because they care about you, the business, their co-workers, or all of them.
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Give complete apologies only: Be specific, share how you will avoid repeating the misconduct, do what you say you will do, and give employees time to trust you again. Remember, the goal is not to win an argument, but to build a better, more inclusive workplace.
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