In my professional experience, I’ve seen my fair share of conflicts stemming from age bias in workplaces. The longer I work, the more likely it will be that younger workers view me as old and out of touch with the modern world. Remember how you were when you thought you knew everything? You quickly learned that you will never know it all, which is why diverse workplaces are important.
We’re all guilty of sizing people up based on age, whether we realize it or not. But it’s crucial to recognize how these preconceived notions can spark workplace conflicts.
Age Bias in News Media
I’ve worked successfully for clients and supervisors of all ages. So, when I stumbled upon a recent journalist’s query on Help a Reporter Out (HARO), it raised a concern for me. The working title of the article was What To Do If Your Boss Is Younger Than You. Oy. Putting the spotlight on age can stir up trouble quickly. Below are my tips for confronting age bias and avoiding unfair age discrimination. Even when it is not unlawful under the Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA), it interferes with inclusion, peace, and productivity goals.
Dealing with Real and Perceived Bias
Age bias is everywhere. Unfortunately, our brains tend to look for simple causes for others’ conduct, and our brains play tricks on us. It’s important to separate fact from fiction. Sure, an employee might feel like they’re being treated unfairly by a supervisor because of an age difference. It could also be the other way around, with that employee unfairly judging the supervisor. Even more common is that they are both focusing on age instead of the root causes of their workplace disputes. These are usually based on subtle differences in:
- Training and education
- Work and lived experiences
- Core values
When what we think we know about the right ways to do things is challenged, it triggers emotional responses that distract us from these workable distinctions. Instead of embracing the differences and exploring ways to maximize their positive potential, our brains default to fear responses like fight, flight, and freeze. Yes, even in response to workplace conditions.
Make the Seven Choices
In my book, DIY Conflict Resolution: Seven Choices and Five Actions of the Masters, I frequently ask readers to intentionally make these choices to create an environment where complete conflict resolution can occur:
- Forgive yourself for having and creating conflicts. You’re human; it’s what we do. Fortunately, you also have the power to resolve most of them.
- Acknowledge yourself for taking action to resolve your conflicts. It takes humility and courage to do this.
- Forgive the world for having and creating conflicts. This is an opportunity for personal growth, which almost always enhances your experience of life.
- Free the emotions. Of course you are having an emotional response. That’s as natural for a human as breathing.
- Clear your mind. Your brain is probably working overtime looking for threats and how you’ve handled them in the past. It will probably select a less than ideal solution, if you don’t guide it.
- Assume nothing. This is not the time for you to ground yourself deeply in what you think you know.
- Listen with your third ear. Compassionately engage with the person you disagree with, remembering that we’re all dealing with unresolved hurts and their impact on how we navigate the world and work.
Acknowledge and Challenge Your Biases
Whether you’re the “fresh-faced boss” or the “seasoned employee,” we’ve all got our biases when it comes to age. Notice that I put both characterizations in quotations to emphasize them. If you are using terms like these to describe people in your workplace, your age biases are probably in play. Acknowledge this and challenge them with some hard facts and figures that have nothing to do with age:
- What is necessary to perform the essential functions of the job?
- Does this person have those skills and abilities?
- If so, are the skills and abilities being used to produce the desired results?
- If not, what does the other person think is getting in the way?
- If skills are lacking, could they be developed?
- How much time, money, and energy would it take?
Put Performance First
It is unfair to make age the go-to explanation for someone’s performance. Your biases can also land you in court.
Maybe your younger boss isn’t of an age protected under the ADEA but is a member of another protected class due to race, gender, gender identity, religion, or a disabling condition. If you’re zeroing in on an age difference, you might also be focusing unfairly on your supervisor’s other characteristics, which could be unlawful discrimination.
If you’re the younger boss and you are unfairly judging an employee who is over age 40, you are unlawfully discriminating. Your comments like “Okay, Boomer” can get you fired and sued.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, age shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all when it comes to evaluating someone’s work abilities. By tackling age-related biases head-on, we can create a more inclusive, peaceful, and productive workplace. Stop fixating on age differences and start celebrating the unique contributions each employee brings to the table (supervisors included).
Afraid you’ve already erred?
Case Study: January’s Struggle to Communicate Effectively with His New Supervisor