I find myself saying things like, “especially now” when I talk about conflict in the world. I came of age in the 1980s, when the United States seemed to be experiencing a break from wars and violence. When my friends were called to active duty for the Persian Gulf War, it felt like a kinder, gentler war.
Then came my first job interview after law school. On Long Island. On 9/11. Friends and family members went to Afghanistan and Iraq, while I began fighting in courtrooms. I started dating and moved in with a man I went to law school with. He broke up with me hours after my family finished moving us into our New York City apartment and left me paying all expenses for both of us because both of us had signed the lease. I finally developed the courage and strategy to leave that situation, just in time to meet the person struggling with addiction who I dated off and on for eight years. With the help of Al-Anon and Landmark Worldwide, I took control of my co-dependency and broke free. Then, I was raped by a man I had once dated, while he was in town planning his wedding. All of this was before I was violently assaulted while walking home from Landmark in 2014.
As I have been piecing together my “character-building” life:
- Discrimination and bias have fueled the deaths of those who identify as LGBTQIA or marginalized
- Young girls have been gang-raped, mutilated, kidnapped, and shot on their way to school
- Soldiers and children have lost limbs to landmines
- Disease, war, and natural disaster have claimed more lives than I can count, and we can’t agree on what to do about it if anything
At age 48, maybe my life has stabilized to where I notice more. Every generation has had similar conflicts to resolve—and opportunities to resolve them. The world has somehow survived the Transatlantic Slave Trade, two World Wars, a Cold War, and generally more barbaric times.
But especially now, I feel compelled to do something. It feels more urgent and like my responsibility, which is overwhelming at times. I sit in discussions at the United Nations, wondering how many times the same things have been said, without any action and therefore, without resolution. I fear there is no resolution.
Then, I remember the little girl cautiously entering her family home, scanning for signs that her unstable relative was “in a good mood” and that she could relax. It seemed those days would never end, but they did.
There is always hope. And change. Which typically come through action. Not necessarily from big, dramatic action like a bloody rebellion. Sometimes, change begins with forgiveness.
My next few posts will be exploring Choice #3 from my book, DIY Conflict Resolution: Seven Choices and Five Actions of a Master: Forgive the world for having and creating conflicts.
I’ll be discussing what’s still there in conflicts with my birth circumstances, natural disasters, and hateful or hostile people. I am committed to being free from these conflicts and invite you to get free with me.
What world conflicts would you like to see resolved? Let’s work through them together. They only seem bigger than we are because we are trying to resolve them alone.
Past conflict holding you back?
Case Study: How to talk to older generations about today’s politics